Ok, In case you’re wondering why I rate my movies the way I do (And this rating system is the original. Accept no substitutes or copycats) it’s because nobody cares about stars and the alphabet. We’re not in school and we’re not lying on a big hill at night in the middle of Montana. We’re spending money on movies. So I rate the movies on how much money you should actually fork out.

Full Price: Pay top dollar for this bitch, 'cuz you’re in for a fun filled, action packed, roller coaster of a ride. Or there's nothing currently better out.

Matinee: Still enjoyable, but don't pay full price for it. Instead, bring a date, to ensure that the hand job you receive makes up for any inconsistencies and flaws found in the movie.

Wait For DVD/Video: Not worth bothering to go see in the theater. The movie has some bright points, but it's better if you enjoy them in the privacy of your own home so co-workers don't see you coming out of the theater, then laughing and pointing fingers at you because you were stupid enough to actually drive all the way to the theater and pay money for such crap. This results in constant badgering and humiliation at work, and will more than likely lead to a demotion when you purchase a gun and kill all of your annoying co-workers.

Wait For Cable: Not even worth going to the theater or video store for. Rather, wait until you see this thing pop up somewhere on cable. Even then you should only watch it if nothing better is on. Like the Fishing Channel or the latest strongman contest.